Flirting has always been a bit tricky, with some people being born flirts and others requiring more practice the odds of actual success are 50/50.
It might not seem like much, but flirting can be the beginning of something beautiful – even if it’s just friendship.
You could say that flirting is an art form; where the person being flirted with is the canvas and the flirtatious words or actions are the paintbrush.
But how can anyone tell when they should give and yield while flirting? And how can you be confident that you’re not overdoing it, or worse, not flirting enough?
The answer may be in something called push-pull attraction techniques. If being on top of your flirtation game interests you, we suggest reading onward.
What Is the Push-Pull Technique?
In the world of flirting, push-pull is a type of game. It is a back-and-forth movement between attraction and aversion.
The aim is to keep the person you are interested in on their toes, wanting more of your attention to avoid that annoying lull in the conversation that leaves even the most flirting experts fumbling for words.
Push-pull can also be used as a form of playful banter. This is where you make jokes at the expense of the person you are talking to, but in a way that is still flattering without the intention of causing any real harm.
It is all about building sexual tension by toying with the emotions of the other person.
How To Perform A Push-Pull Correctly
A push-pull is all about give and take. For every step you take forward, you must also take one back.
The key is to make sure that your actions are not overly aggressive or too shy – the perfect balance lies somewhere in the middle. Let’s paint a word picture, shall we?
You’re out at a bar with some friends and you spot someone you’re attracted to from across the room. You make your way over, introduce yourself and start chatting. So far so good. You want to keep the conversation going, but you don’t want to seem too keen. This is where push-pull comes into play.
You start by giving them vague compliments like ” you have great energy” or “you’re really funny.” But then you follow it up with a light-hearted tease like “but you probably don’t even know it.”
They will instantly feel intrigued by what exactly you mean. But you don’t explain in detail, instead, you keep them guessing by changing the subject or walking away momentarily to talk to someone else.
You’ve now piqued their interest and they’ll want to know more about you. The key is not to seem too interested in them, but also not to lose their attention entirely. It’s a delicate balance, but with practice, it can be extremely successful in flirting.
Why Does Push-Pull Work?
The theory behind push-pull is that it creates a sense of uncertainty in the person you are talking to. They will want to know more about you and will be eager to keep the conversation going.
This technique also works because it plays on the natural human tendency to want what we cannot have, and so by appearing to be unattainable, this will increase attraction and you will make yourself more desirable in the eyes of the other person. This technique can be very advantageous to those who are shy or not naturally good at flirting.
You don’t need a big game to pull the push-pull technique off, just a little bit of confidence and the ability to read the other person. Partnered with verbal and non-verbal cues, push-pull can be a great way to flirt without feeling too exposed.
5 Of The Best Powerful Push-Pull Attraction Techniques
It’s the subtle art of giving and taking attention while flirting that gets people hooked.
So without further ado, here are 5 of the best powerful push-pull attraction techniques with practical examples:
1. Compliment them, then take them back
This is a classic push-pull move that is bound to get their attention. For example, you could say “you’re really pretty, but I bet you already know that.” This will make them feel good about themselves whilst still keeping the conversation light and playful.
Another example would be if you were talking to someone with a great sense of humor, you might say “I bet you’re one of those people who is always making jokes and never takes anything seriously.” This will make them laugh, but it also subtly implies that you find them attractive.
2. Get close, then pull away
This is a great way to create sexual tension. If you’re standing close to them whilst talking, lean in a little bit closer as if trying to listen to them better, then back away again. Listen, it’s not a physical push where you knock them off their feet!
You know how in the movies where they lean in close and everything goes in slow motion, only for things to catch up speed when they pull away? Yeah, it’s kind of like that. Except here, you don’t have to memorize lines. Not a single sentence.
A point to make is when you’re leaning close, don’t invade their personal space, just get close enough so that they can feel your breath on their skin. This is sure to get their heart racing and know that you’re actively flirting!
3. Touch them, then move away
This is a great non-verbal way to flirt and can be done whilst you’re talking to them or even just standing next to each other. Gently touch their arm or shoulder whilst making a point, then move your hand away again.
This will leave them wanting that physical contact again and in turn will make them feel more intimate without trying too hard. For example, if there’s a strand of hair out of place, you could tuck it behind the ear.
Or if you’re kissing, then stop kissing for a moment to look at them in the eyes, then start kissing again. It’s an emotional rollercoaster!
4. Pay attention to them, then look away
This is an excellent way to show that you are engaged in the conversation without being overwhelming. shoot glances at them now and then, making sure to focus on their words and body language.
Try pretending like you’re taking mental notes of their attributes and then look away again. This will make them feel both special and appreciated, while also creating a sense of mystery as they speculate what you could be thinking about.
Look at your drink, look at the crowd, literally anywhere else but their face for a few seconds.
5. Tease them
This is a great way to be playful and keep things light-hearted. If you’re talking to someone who is really into their work, you could say something like, “That smile probably isn’t the only thing that gets people’s attention.”
This will amuse them and also let them know that you’re physically attracted to them. If you’re talking to someone shy, you could say “I bet you’re not this quiet when you’re at home.”
This will make them feel more comfortable around you and also let them know that you find them interesting in the sense that there is more to them than meets the eye.
Go Get ‘Em!
Flirting via the push-pull technique is a great way to create sexual tension while still keeping things light and fun.
It’s the perfect way to get to know someone better without getting too serious too quickly. Plus, it’s an incredibly powerful tool that most people don’t realize.
Laying out all your cards on the table can sometimes be overwhelming, so push-pull allows you to take things slow and feel them out first. It might sound like a very difficult skill to learn, but trust that if you follow our guide, you’ll become a pro in no time!
If you have more questions about dating and attraction that you would like answered, we might have the solutions for you! From sexting to the best dating sites, we have it all on a unique spread.
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